who told you who you could be?

I was recently offered a book writing mentorship opportunity that includes a pitch to speak at the Women's Economic Forum... which led me to think about what I would speak to those women about... I went for a walk near where I live and riffed into an app that transcribes your words into a document.

Here's where I went with it... (edited slightly as I am writing to you and not addressing a room full of women in a conference room in Dubai or somewhere).

So, there are people who have dedicated a number of years and a lot of money and large amounts of focused attention and sacrificed for a particular career outcome. Then there are people, like me, who have organically moved through life and study and work and arrived at a place where it all comes together and finally makes sense.

I started wondering if people could pinpoint the moment or the series of moments that shaped their concept of who they are to the world. I imagine for some people the memory will be clear and conscious and for others, there may be layers and surprises to be discovered...

If you are curious to look into the shadows a little, I invite you to close your eyes and take your awareness back into your history… and just a tip here, sometimes the answer to a question like this doesn't come from a literal, accessible memory, it might just be instinct, you might just land an age or person or time might just pop into your brain - if that happens, trust it.

So, with your eyes closed, track back to the very moment that you decided on a particular course of action… specifically study or work or career-related. Was it when you were 7 and your favourite Aunt was saving lives as a paramedic and you were like, wow, I want to be like her? Or was it when you were 15 sitting around the dinner table and watching a male member of your family ‘win’ the conversation and you decided you want to be that person - you want to be the intelligent, educated, articulate lawyer who always wins. Was it a high school guidance counsellor or teacher who saw something in you that you hadn’t noticed yet? Was it something that every member of your family has done for generations?

Or maybe you didn't know what you're doing and you went off down one pathway, then maybe another and another. And maybe you’re 45 or 55 and about to embark on a new, more clear path now that you feel like you know what you have to offer.

So, whatever it is for you… just settling into that and taking a breath letting your belly soften.

Now, the next layer is to look deeper into who or what influenced that choice for you. Your first reaction might be ‘Oh, I chose it myself. I knew what I wanted, it's was always really clear and I do the thing. No one tells me what to do etc’. Yes, that's probably very true for a lot of people.

Even so, there will still be influences. It's those slightly hidden influences that we want to touch and bring awareness to who or what flavoured your view of your place in the world.

Or was it life, circumstances around you, maybe you grew up in an area where there was economic struggle or war or you witnessed some epic historical event that blew your mind wide open… perhaps there were lots of options for you, or limited options because of your gender, skin colour, sexual orientation or family financial position. Maybe you have a family legacy that you're expected to uphold and maybe you don’t… maybe you're the first person in your family or friend group to go in a new direction.

What were the ways you were influenced to see yourself in a particular way?

Is that view you had of yourself true now?

I’d love to hear your discoveries, feel free to email me if you’d like to share your insights.